Things Which Are Simply Strange...

So...

Lately I've been going back to Burger King in the mornings, simply dealing with the drive-thru. Something I've discovered is that the local store is used for training area managers and workers; apparently if they can make make it here, they'll make it any-weer... (sorry). Thus, the faces I see as I pass through change with the rapidity of diapers (I could draw another parallel there but I'll refrain -- oh, wait; I already didn't refrain).

Anyway, I've noticed that as with any establishment service depends on the expectations put forth and the policies enforced (or not) by a group's leader.

A few days ago I was dealing with a smiling woman who served my my croissandwiches (yes, wholly American and possibly profane) each day with a polite greeting, cordially friendly and entirely appropriate to this sort of business where dealing with the public is the whole point.

Odd thing, however; each day she served my greasy little artery-cloggers with a side-helping of grape jelly.

For those not in the know, the Burger King double croissandwich is a pseudo-croissant sliced in two, the center packed with a layer of cheese, another layer of scrambled egg cooked in flat sheets, a sausage-pattie, two small slices of bacon and another layer of cheese. Most definitely NOT good for me, but filling in a creepy sort of way which makes me realize I need a long, critical look at my dietary habits.

And every day there were two packets of grape jelly accompanying my order.

Then two days ago another woman appeared, also in a manger's uniform. I placed the same order and received my paper bag with the famed amber-and-chartreuse colors and went on to my workplace nearby.

Opening the bag I discovered that while the grape jelly had disappeared I had enough salt packets to fill half a normal salt-shaker for a dinner table.

Eh, wot?

So this is Salt Lady; the other woman was Grape Jelly Lady I thought, shrugging and chalking it up to the American Standard, ie., utter carelessness.

This morning my order was accompanied by pepper packets in direct proportion to yesterday's helping of salt.

I may only imagine what the morrow will bring. Five-gallon bucket of lard with your breakfast order, Mr. Hodges?

Actually, I might be better off eating the lard...



So...

I'd heard for years about folks who put coffee grounds and egg shells around their roses and decided to look up the reason for it. Apparently there are multiple reasons, ranging from the coffee providing a kick to the soil's nitrogen output and the egg shells providing calcium all the way to the caffeine aiding plant growth while repelling slugs while the egg shells themselves act as tiny stakes driven into the ground to repel the slug cavalry.

Further reading uncovered the declaration that coffee grounds were good for more than merely roses, being the perfect "green" solution to the addition of fertilizers in gardens. After all, the majority of any chemical fertilizer is 1/2 nitrogen, the rest potassium and phosphate with some calcium tossed in. Thus, I could, theoretically, remove nearly all need for chemical fertilizers by saving old coffee grounds and egg shells, possibly supplementing with a bit of lime and manure (easily obtained from other local farmers).

Okay, here's where we get to the weird part...

My father is the sort of man who will invariably scold me for spending money on anything which he deems useless. If I purchase a wrench he wants to know why I would waste that money, especially in light of the fact that I could drive for nearly two hours and borrow a wrench from him. Please, no one explain the gas/wrench cost ratio to me, I got it long ago -- but I'll be happy to provide his address, should you care to try that avenue of approach.

Anyway...

I recently discussed the whole deal with coffee and egg shells with my father, the avid gardener in the family. His reaction?

"I don't know why you'd bother with all that, when you could just BUY a bag of fertilizer and do the same thing!"

"Um, Dad? Maybe because this is FREE? I just save the grounds we make at work anyway and the shells from the eggs we use at home -- voila, instant fertilizer I don't have to pay for?"

"Yeah, maybe... but you could just BUY a bag of fertilizer..."



I don't really ask for Life to make sense anymore; I just try to enjoy the ride.